 
Oh, Brother, Can You Spare Us From the Real Millennium?
It is abundantly clear that the world has already missed out on the glorious opportunity that was the Millennium. After the exhilaration of last New Year’s Eve, we were hoping the millennium would burn on, like an out of control tirefire- red hot and with brain addling vapors. Instead, the real millennium turned out to be mildly exciting, like a weak glass of Tang.
So pity the poor millennium. After a 24-hour period encompassing last New Year’s Eve and January 1, 2000 where people essentially did whatever they felt, the "real" millennium was egged with a carton of the Grade A Jumbo variety until it was thoroughly covered in yolk.
We at Millennium Hell have attempted to wash it off with some Pink Lady dish soap, a squeeze of lemon and three buckets of hot water.
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