Hype-y New Year! On December 31, 1999 Revelers Face Tough Product Choices.

It’s almost midnight 12/31/99. You need the perfect drink to toast the end of 30 generations of mankind. Does one reach for a Budweiser, "The Official Beer of the Millennium™?" Or, do you chug a Coors. "The Official Beer of Y2K™?" How about sipping "The Official Martini of the Millennium™" courtesy of Beefeater? Why not toast in the new millennium with "The Official Champagne of the Millennium™", none other than Korbel.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

As predictable as the millennium clock counting down to 2000, entrepreneurs are working overtime to create millennium schlock.

The trademark office has been swamped with more than 1500 applications for "millennium" or "Y2K" trademarks. "We have seen a lot of applications around the Bicentennial and Desert Storm, but in my 20 years at the Patent Office, I’ve never seen anything like this. " says Paul Fahrenkopf, the agency’s trademark administrator.

Exciting times, eh Paul?

We at Millennium Hell have made a personal pledge to subsist exclusively on products endorsed as being "Official Millennium." Yep, we’ll be eating lots of Uncle Ben’s Rice "The Official Food of the Millennium™," and M&M’s "The Official Candy of the Millennium™," bathing with Dial Soap, "The Official Soap of the Millennium™," (yes, we do bathe) and looking at the pictures, opps, "reading" Playboy, "The Official Entertainment Vehicle of the Millennium™."

Should we become whiplashed in a car accident, we’ll be directly on the phone to Elk & Elk Co. in Mayfield, Ohio, "The Personal Injury Firm of the New Millennium™."

And, God forbid, one of our staff bites the big one, we’ll spring for Batesville Casket Company’s new "Millennium" model. Incased in highly polished stainless steel, you’ll be sure to shine in the next world.

Is this a great millennium or what?

This issue we examine Millennium Marketing Nausea. Take two Tylenol "The Official Painkiller of the Millennium" and read on.

Millennial Souvenirs as Popular as Jar Jar Binks!

NEWPORT BEACH and TEMECULA, Ca. --- The last time mankind faced a new millennium, wise men and high priests warned that the end of the world was near.

Today’s marketing gurus are preaching a different message for the next millennium: The spending event of the world is near. For them, New Year's Eve 1999 is a major marketing opportunity, a day when all the people of the planet will join together as one to buy souvenirs.

And what better to purchase than The Official Souvenir of the Millennium™!

Ah, what esteemed product is worthy of that coveted title? A freshly minted commemorative gold with a beautiful inscription perhaps? How about a special pin designed by a world famous artist? Or maybe a T-shirt with some magical design created by student artists from every continent to highlight global togetherness?

Those would all be too typical; too expected to mark this once in 30 generations occasion. At least that’s what the people at Skyhook Enterprises, the creators of The Official Souvenir of the Millennium™, think.

That’s why the The Official Souvenir of the Millennium™ is….. a rock!

To be more precise, The Millennium Stone™.

According to Frank Pirkel of Skyhook, "The Millennium Stone is the perfect symbol of the changing
Millennium because it is made of 99.99% pure silicon, the material used to make microchips, or microprocessors."

Uh huh.

"Silicon microprocessors have changed the way we live, the way we work, the way we play. They help
us live longer, learn faster and work smarter. With silicon, mankind has forged its way into the Information Age. Silicon microprocessors have even spawned a whole new category of business: Web Commerce."

"Silicon is powerful. It has helped man to fundamentally alter the course of history!"

"Virtually pure silicon is rare. Though the second most abundant element on Earth, silicon is not found in nature in its pure form. It must be grown, before it can be made into computer chips."

"And it is beautiful. All you have to do is see it to recognize that virtually pure silicon is beautiful. With
often hundreds of facets and a shiny bright silver hue, silicon continually draws expressions of awe and beauty."

And of course, the Deal of the Millennium™ at just $13.99.

Not to be out done, another firm, Gazelle Inc. has launched their millennial souvenir using none other than pop singer Jim Croce as inspiration.

No, it’s not a limited edition statue of Croce’s fiery plane crash, or a false nose and mustache combination or even a plush version of the "junkyard dog" made famous in "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown."

Croce once crooned how great it would be to put time in a bottle. Now, Gazelle Inc. ,famous in the golf community as the makers of the zany and popular Three Stooges(TM) Talking Golf Head Covers, has done just that in introducing its new keepsake for the 21st century: Millennium In A Bottle™.

Millennium In A Bottle™ literally captures each of the 1,000 years of the millennium by printing the years on gold confetti pieces, then encasing the years in an eight-inch high acrylic bottle. The front and back label is printed in rich gold tones giving Millennium In A Bottle™ the look and feel of elegance

Right up there with the packaging for Cher’s new perfume "I Smell You Babe" and Barry White’s "Funnel of Love" home drain snaking kit, Millennium Hell suspects.

The bottle is filled with a non-toxic mixture of distilled water and glycol, the exact solution used in snow globes. All one has to do is pick it up and shake it. Trying to locate a specific year provides hours of fun and fascination.

For us at Millennium Hell, it’s already replaced making matchstick sculptures (Yes, we did finally finish the Titanic replica, Mr. Smarty-pants!), going to "The Jefferson’s" conventions ( we like the original Lionel best) and trying to crack the code for McDonald’s special sauce.

"We created Millennium In A Bottle(TM) as a way to commemorate the last 1,000 years of history," reported Leo Goshgarian, president of Gazelle Inc. "Millennium In A Bottle(TM) helps us celebrate time in a really fun way."

This clever collectable has multiple uses. Kids enjoy spending hours shaking the bottle, trying to find their birth year. Trivia buffs try to remember events associated with significant dates in history as they float by.

Or if you’re like us, smash Millennium In A Bottle on the living room floor at a party. It makes it so much easier to find your birth year piece of confetti. And, it scares the hell out of your friends who think you have become a day trader.

"All in all, it's a great conversation piece and also makes a terrific party favor or centerpiece" says Goshgarian,.

Millennium In A Bottle™ has a suggested retail price of $14.99 making it just a buck more than The Official Souvenir of the Millennium™. Quite the purchase dilemma.

Satisfy your Millennial Sweet Tooth with Cavity Causing Y2Konfections

CHICAGO --- They say you are what you eat., so make sure you are eating the right stuff to properly prepare for the new millennium. In this case, we are referring to the oft overlooked and maligned other food group beyond fruits, vegetables, meats, dairy and grains.

The candy group (further broken down by sticky, wiggly, runny, chewy and crispy).

Sure M&M’s claims they are The Official Candy of the New Millennium™. But that doesn’t mean they have a monopoly on the candy business dammit.

Sugar-coated, boxed, and branded with the words "Year 2000," some of this millennium's newest confections introduced at the All Candy Expo in Chicago this week were all dressed up and ready for the occasion.

While the new millennium begins on Jan. 1, 2001, most of the world is choosing to begin celebrations a year early and concerns about computer problems at the year 2000 are often referred to in association with the new millennium.

"Don't let YOUR system crash, bite into one of these," reads the slogan of Silicon Valley Confection Company's newest product: a Y2K milk chocolate bug. Palm-sized, with the words Y2K inscribed twice on its back, this "technology you can eat" is already being bought and distributed by computer companies in Silicon Valley, David Knudsen, the company's owner, said.

Packaged to mimic a computer software box is a "Y2K Repair Kit. "Advertised as "a great way to stomp out the Y2K bug before it's too late," this package contains a 10-ounce milk chocolate foot, created by president of Toe-Food Chocolates (get it? No? Think about it.) and former podiatrist Mark Wolpa.

In italics, just above the foot, is its Y2K bug solution: "Just Kick It."

Genius! Podiatry’s loss is candy lovers’ gain! (Or did Dr. Mark get "kicked out?"…sorry, we know this is too easy even for us at Millennium Hell but we just couldn’t resist)

The Countdown Millennium Watch is Galerie Au Chocolat's newest treat. Shaped like a stopwatch, shiny and transparent, this digital clock makes a buzzing sound and dispenses candy as one of its side buttons is pressed.

This being Galerie Au Chocolat's second attempt at a chocolate millennium time piece. The original, a solid chocolate millennium sun dial, while ascetically pleasing, kept good time only for just under an hour before melting.

And for the Y2K hoarders in your household have not been ignored. Chocolate blocks wrapped in gold foil (simulating gold ingots) and solid steel chocolate coin vaults with the words "Brave New Millennium 2000" were also introduced.

Though these candies are only beginning to go into retail, dealers warn that they are limited editions. Silicon Valley Confection Company's advice: "Eat it while there's still time."

Millennium Hell did come across a list of rejected millennium candy treats

Y2Kit Y2Kat

Two Musketeers and a Y2K Survivalist

Good n' Y2K Bug Free

M & M's "Melts in your mouth...not in your radioactive hand"

Bit-O-Y2KBugs

Nestle's $100,000 Krugerand Bar

Glow-in-the-Dark Radium Skittles


Big Bunker Hunk (of something we found behind the nougat machine)

Nestle's Y2Krunch

Whopper's Chocolate-Covered Millennium Megaton Malt Balls

Gummie Y2KBUGS

Peter Paul's Millennium Mounds Bar

Hershey's "The Great American Post Apocalypse Chocolate Bar"

Radiationettes

Reese's Armageddon Pieces

Mentos "The Fresh Maker"

Millennium "Bored" Games, the Perfect Addition to your Y2K Bunker (or Post Apocalyptic Rumpus Room)



1."What did 40 million Chinese people die of in Mao’s Great
Leap Forward?"
2."If a man receives an accolade, what is he receiving?"
3."Which Shakespeare play opens with a storm at sea?"
4."What type of seeds can cause drug tests to trigger false
positives for opium?"

Those are just a few of the mind tingling questions that feel you’ll be challenged by in this year’s release of Trivial Pursuit Millennium Edition. Hasbro Games makers of Monopoly and other family favorites (Exclusive makers of Star Wars action figures including everyone’s favorite, Jar Jar Binks!) recently announced a new edition to celebrate the millennium.

The game includes 3,600 questions about history, people and places, arts, sports, and science from the last 1000 years. But does it have the guts to ask the tough questions? The questions that we at Millennium Hell feel must be addressed. Questions like:

1. What "sleeping prophet" predicted that Japan will be destroyed by earthquakes and a giant tidal wave in the year 2000?
2. What 16th century prophet’s predictions name Prince Charles as the Antichrist?
3. Which American President saw the demise of America in the year 2000 as shown to him by a beautiful female ghost?
4. What is more embarrassing, the heartbreak of Psoriasis or that awful toe nail fungus?

Take that Hasbro…

The game also boasts 105 color cards and a new futuristic design. The new design features edge glow pie wedges and card holder as well as a "pie-wedge" shape tin collectors box.

Glowing pie wedges? Wow, this is gonna be the bestest game ever!

"Trivial Pursuit Millennium Edition is very popular with people of all ages," said Dale Siswick, general manager of Marketing for the company. A game that brings families together, Trivial Pursuit can be
played by two to six teams or individual players.

We play it all the time at the Millennium Hell offices. We are particularly partial to the Communist Block Special Edition (very collectible now), The X-Rated Version (featuring Sex Stars and names of obscure Porn Movies) and, our personal favorite, the Inside the Mind of the Serial Killer edition.

According to Hasbro officials Chris Haney and Scott Abbott developed the game in 1979. As the two sat down to play scrabble (and Millennium Hell guesses consumed a case of cheap beer) they talked about their interest in current events. Soon they had developed a game called Trivia Pursuit. But Chris’ wife renamed it Trivial Pursuit. The rest is history.

After initially small sales, by 1984 over 20 million copies of the game were sold. Today the game is offered in 19 different languages and sold in 33 nations around the world. It can be purchased at most major toy retailers for around $40.00.

Oh and the answers to the Hasbro questions above?
1. Starvation, 2. A Knighthood, 3. The Tempest, 4. Poppy seeds.

For the answers to the Millennium Hell Trivia Questions you’ll have to wait for our version of the game to come out…or email us and we’ll give you the answers.

If pursuing millennial trivia isn’t your idea of fun, Hasbro also has plans to introduce a millennial edition of the Monopoly. The rules have remained the same. The board, properties, railroads, and the get out of jail free card all familiar, but the elements of the game have a futuristic look..

The board is made with hologram foil including an image of the memorable Monopoly man in top hat and bow tie. The money is sheer plastic and the game pieces have changed too. The thimble, the cannon, the ship, and the shoe are history. Updated game pieces include a computer, cell phone, in-line skate, globe, a Concord, car, bicycle and to make any soccer mom proud, the yellow (oops, silver) lab.

"Monopoly transcends generations and the game continues to enjoy popularity with people of all ages," said Dale Siswick, general manager of marketing for Hasbro Games (Hey Dick, get a new quote. That’s what you said about Trivial Pursuit Millennium Edition). "It's a natural fit to create Millennium editions of the games to celebrate their past, present and future."

Siswick rejected Millennium Hell’s suggestion for creating a Monopoly Y2K Edition in which the utilities all fail, paper money is useless and we revert to a barter based society, houses are replaced with bunkers and the game pieces include a National Guard armored car, a flashlight, a gold ingot, a 2-gallon jug of distilled water and a "millennium bug."

According to Siswick, the new packaging of Monopoly Millennium Edition gives it a feeling of a collectable. Monopoly Millennium Edition can be found in large toy stores around the country and retails for about $40.00.

The low tech nature of Monopoly Millennium Edition and Trivial Pursuit Millennium Edition make them must haves to stave off the boredom you’ll be suffering from when you are secluded in your Y2K bunker. Get yours now before the looters do.

But if the fine folks at Hasbro haven’t sparked your interest with their millennium games consider these games available soon from Millennium Hell:

-Milton Bradley’s Millennium Hell Operation Game-Young and old alike will spend hours trying to perform surgery on a Y2K victim in need of some special care. Players’ skills will be challenged when they try and remove a full magazine of survivalist’s hollow-point bullets from an innocent bystander’s belly. Or the mysterious tumors caused by post nuclear blast radiation.

-Millennium Hell Mystery Date-The squeals of delight are sure to wake the neighbors as your teenage girls compete for their "dream date" in this special edition of one of America’s most beloved board games. Players move their pieces around the board as they prepare to meet their ultimate match in a post apocalyptic world. Open the door and find out if your mystery date "will be a dream…or a mutant".

"Year 2000™" Trade marked. Owners Sue World for Infringement.


NEW YORK, NY.--- While few were thinking about the Year 2000 in the early 1990s, Robert Guberman was making the biggest business decision of his life. The veteran retail executive secured the trademark for the ``Year 2000,'' giving him the exclusive rights to almost everything bearing the best-known slogan of the new millennium.

That’s right. It is illegal to put "Year 2000" on any item or product without having Mr. Gruberman’s permission. And it won’t come cheap.

As the turn of the century nears, stores (Millennium Hell assumes that should read "discount stores") are filling with ``Year 2000'' merchandise- everything from key chains to playing cards to tapestries to leather jackets (wow… that’s a really stylish looking "year 2000" sash!). ``We were well aware that the millennium was coming and this was going to be big,'' said Guberman, president of New York-based Planet Marketing. ``Now, the excitement is building and we are seeing how big it's really going to be.''

Only one other group _ American Promotional Events _ owns rights to the ``Year 2000,'' and the Alabama-based company can only sell fireworks. That leaves Planet Marketing with the trademark to everything else _ from anti-wrinkle cream to Christmas tree skirts. Many of the offbeat items trademarked by Planet Marketing, like creams for cellulite reduction and electric pencil sharpeners, are not likely to be produced with the ``Year 2000'' logo. The company decided to vie for the rights to almost everything thinkable just to prevent any conflict with others trying to use the slogan.

They have also trademarked the phrase "One Planet. One Future."

How about changing that to "One Planet. One Future. One More Buck."

``Sometimes I have to pinch myself when I think that we actually have this trademark,'' said Guberman, a 58-year-old New Yorker who has experience in both the apparel and candy industries.

Millennium Hell would prefer slapping him.

Planet Marketing, financed by a private investor group, manufacturers its own merchandise and also licenses the ``Year 2000'' slogan out to other vendors. The company already has licensing deals with more than 40 different manufacturers, and has 28 deals still pending.

The short life of ``Year 2000'' doesn't seem to faze Guberman. He believes that people will want ``Year 2000'' merchandise long after the hype fades. But just in case, he also owns the trademark for ``Year 2001."

Millennium Hell can hardly wait.

01-01-OH NO! The Mark of the Millennium™ Actually the Mark of the Apocalypse™?

NEW YORK, NY. --- The idea first came to architect and retail designer Ken Walker , 58, four years ago, after he read about the year 2000 problem. To better visualize the sequence that is the bane of every computer programmer, Walker scribbled down the numbers 01-01-00 and thought, "Hey, that looks cool."

Yeah! Our hero! We at Millennium Hell love the fact that Walker is making money on what may turn out to be the end of the world and no one may live to see 01-01-00!

Walker designed retail space for a living (you know, stores like The Jerky Hut, Potholder Barn, Nothing But Shoelaces and House of Turbans (and Sash Shack). He then spent the next three years and $500,000 of his own money to secure domestic and international trademarks for the series 01-01-00 in 14 product categories. He envisioned emblazoning the date on everything from athletic wear to wrapping paper.

Last year he whipped up a few hats bearing his logo and hit the road to test the market. When he hit on, opps, met an aspiring spokesmodel/actress who worked at a hip Manhattan gin joint (called The Manhattan Gin Joint), he asked her to wear one. Soon people were asking to buy the hat. "Of course, I don't know if the offer was because of her or the hat," Walker conceded, but he decided to plow ahead.

This August more than 40 licensees, including Nicole Miller and Salvatore Ferragamo, will roll out merchandise covered in his catchy code. In the 18 months to follow, Bloomingdale's, JC Penney and Kohl's will devote exclusive retail space to 01-01-00 merchandise: apparel, sheets and towels, snow globes, fragrances and beanie-babyesque Millanimals.

Millanniamls. Isn’t that precious?

Because his logo needs no translation, Walker predicts 40% of sales could take place overseas. "The unique merits of the 01-01-00 mark is its universal appeal," says Walker. "It is language independent and will work in China, Germany and Brooklyn."

Guess if the following is Chinese, German or Brooklynese?

"Yo Vinnie. Ya want my 01-01-00 hat? Well, ya can forgitaboutit. Git your own, loser."

Will the date make Walker rich? Competing retail concepts for a Hype-y New Year are popping up like champagne corks, from the banal--Year 2000--to the cryptic--Y2K--to the comic—Warner Bros.' Mil-Looney-um. Walker claims not to be worried about the competition. "These are just cap and T shirt deals."

Clothes of the Century's T-Shirt Designs Signal the End is Not Near Enough.

SAN ANA, Ca --- Humbly proclaiming themselves as "the first, best and coolest millennium based T-shirt company", Clothes of the Century (Oh my God, the laughs just jump right out at you from the start...the name... it's a pun...get it "Close/Clothes of the Century"...how do they come up with this stuff?) combines "pop icons, cultural cliches and well-known rock lyrics" to create, umm, well, T-shirts.

According to their press release, "producing T-shirt designs that are one-half practical joke and one-half dire warning is the goal of this team of cultural soothsayers, who have focused their dry wit and twisted
humor on the coming millennium and all things connected to it."

Cultural soothsayers? We at Millennium Hell are in awe of such talent (and the PR firm that cranked out that phrase!).

And what might be an example of this finely tuned design sense of humor?

"Strange Trip"- a photo/illustration depicting an automobile odometer turning over from 0001999 to (wanna take a wild guess here?) 0002000! And combining the well known Grateful Dead lyric- What a Strange Trip It's Been."

The sheer genius of this design alone confirms that the people at Clothes of the Century truly are "cultural soothsayers" (does that mean they can cast spells, or are just big fans of "Sabrina" and "Charmed"?)

Another stroke of brilliance can be found in their version of the Y2K Bug. They have created a devilish character in the shape of a walking computer called "The Double Ott Demon" (very catchy; rolls off the tongue doesn't it?). According to the "soothsayers", "this one is sure to be a big hit with the techno-savvy crowd." Right up there with brain massager helmets, the vibrating pocket buddy and telephone modulator units that make your voice sound like Darth Vader.

Millennium Hell salutes the intrepid cultural lampoonists at Clothes of the Century and suggests they also consider branching out beyond T-shirts into other fashion arenas. Although limited in our sooth saying abilities (we are however able to say "toyboat" ten times really fast), our crack staff of sub-cultural humorists offer the following suggestions to those crazy cut-ups at Clothes of the Century:

-Talking Millennium Boxer Shorts-A tiny micro chip implanted in the fly of these 100% cotton boxers automatically shouts Y2K warnings when ever they're exposed to light.

"It's dark in here...has the power gone out? Wait grab this flashlight!"

"I'm 100% Y2K Bug Free...Want to see?"
"Is that a roll of Kruegerands in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

-Richard Simmons Y2K Compliant Adult Diapers-Who says working out and battling incontinence in the light of Y2K problems has to be a chore. You'll feel safe and secure while you're sweatin' to the oldies in these rhinestone studded thong style adult diapers. So let the Y2K bug do his darndest, you'll feel good all under in these stylish new briefs.

Class of 2000 Inc. Trademark Forces Students to Rename Year 2000 Graduating Class

SAN DIEGO, Ca and CHICAGO, IL..... The forward-thinking founders of Class of 2000, Inc. gleefully report that they have been awarded the trademark for Class of 2000™. Now they are preparing to unleash a tidal wave of "quality" baseball caps, key chains, money clips, pet grooming accessories, etc. for the estimated 18.7 million members of the Class of 00 (graduates of everything from nursery schools to grad schools). In a benevolent gesture, Class of 2000 has pledged not to sue school kids who want to print up there own Class of 2000 wares- even though it is trademark infringement.

Members of the University of Chicago's Class of 2000 (non-trademarked) are already looking at alternatives. The nerds are suggesting the "Null Set," a mathematical set of numbers with no elements, while the partiers are pushing the "Naughties." Perhaps the students at U of C should consult the cultural soothsayers at Clothes of the Century for some truly pithy ideas.

New Millennium Trademark Stops Countdown at 11:59. Talk About Bad Timing.

DENVER---11:59, the minute before midnight December 31, 1999, has become the latest craze from the fashion industry.

Um, was 12:00 Midnight taken?

The 11:59 Company, has launched a Millennium focused line of apparel and gifts. Troy Widgery (Yes, we know it sounds like a name Millennium Hell would make up, but no, it's Troy's own, God love him), President of 11:59 states that "11:59 is a concept centered upon the intense global interest in welcoming the 21st century. We have been preparing for quite a while in anticipation of this momentous event."

In 1993, 11:59 was the first company in the U.S. to ever trademark a time.

That techically means if you are wearing a digital watch, when the display flashes "11:59" you are infringing on Mr. Widgery's trademark.

"As the last minute of this century, 11:59 is the moment that marks great hopes for success and progress in the coming new age. Everyone will be asking themselves 'Where will I be at 11:59?'.

Um, Troymeister (may we call Troymeister). People only care about MIDNIGHT, not the minute before! Who cares about 11:59?

The Company has put this question into form in the designs of its MillenniumWear apparel line. The majority of the line's designs incorporate resort names and cities such as New York, Paris and others. "Our clothing celebrates where people will be for New Years 1999 or wished they could be for the dawning of the 21st century," states Christen Hagan, Design Director for 11:59.

We at Millennium Hell already are sporting "Sioux Falls 11:59" ball caps. Our "Fargo 11:59" parkas are on order.

For women, 11:59 offers stylishly embroidered casual tops and lingerie in a wide variety of soft colors. Additionally, 11:59 has an embroidered sports athletic bra for the active woman. The open back design is made for comfort and performance at the gym or on a run. The 11:59 'Where Are You Going To Be?' logo on the chest proclaims to the world that she is ready for the next millennium. "With the success of the U.S. Women's Soccer Team and the spectacular victory celebration of Brandi Chastain featuring her sports bra, our timing could not be better to have an extensive line of sports bras for women and young girls," says Hagan.

It's clear that with ideas like this that 11:59 has done its marketing research. Where and with whom we are not quite sure. But hey, look on the bright side of things. They'll be plenty of marked down 11:59 merchandise to choose from after Midnight.

Prophecy of the Week: Shocking! Consumers to Shun Millennium Marketers’ Schlock.

People are mad as hell when it comes to millennium marketing hype and aren’t going to take it anymore.

Yep, we at Millennium Hell are really going out on a limb here, but not only will 1/1/2000 be the advent of the of the Y2K Bug, but also of huge markdowns on millennium goods and garbage.

Expect mountains of "2000" T-shirts, "I survived Y2K" ball caps, Y2K survivalist backpacks, countdown clocks that are blinking zero and Millennium Bug dolls among other souvenirs.

But there are exceptions.

Take for example, the timeliness of such classic designs as FU2K™, Have a Nice Doomsday™ or the always classic, Millennium Hell™.

Don’t have yours yet? No reason to despair. Visit the FU2K Store conveniently located on this site!

This has been a thinly veiled commercial message for Millennium Hell goods. Not because we wanted to. Oh no. But because their just isn’t a millennial marketing prophecy. Besides, we need to sell more shirts!